Friday, August 13, 2010

SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT

The Entitlement Generation, which also includes the generation Y or the Millennial generation of 1985 to 2000, is that group of people born between 1970 and 2000. Those words will be used inter-changeably throughout this post. Though there are a few technical differences between Generation Y and Millennial, they all make up the entitlement generation.. They are the children of the "Baby Boomers" which were the post World War Two babies.

It has been said of the baby boomers...[1945 to 1965 which I missed by five years]..." As a group, the baby boomers were the healthiest, and wealthiest generation to that time, and amongst the first to grow up genuinely expecting the world to improve with time." The CHILDREN of the baby boomers have grown up with a far different mentality.

It is said that that they have questions regarding a clear definition of what it means to be an adult. In one study professors at Brigham Young University found that college students are more likely today to define "adult" based on certain personal abilities and characteristics rather than more traditional "rite of passage" events such as getting married, getting a job and supporting ones' self.

Dr. Larry Nelson, one of the three Marriage, Family, and Human Development professors to perform the study, noted that some Millennials are delaying the transition from childhood to adulthood as a response to mistakes made by their parents. "In prior generations, you get married and you start a career and you do that immediately.

What young people today say is that all that did was lead to divorces and to people being unhappy with their careers. The majority of the entitlement generation want to get married--they just want to do it right the first time, the same thing with their careers."

This is a noble desire and I wish them well. But there is a problem. There is a reason the Entitlement Generation is sometimes called the "Trophy Generation", or "Trophy Kids." That is a term that reflects the trend in competitive sports, as well as many other aspects of life, where "no one loses" and everyone gets a "Thanks for Participating" trophy and symbolizing a perceived sense of entitlement by every single person.

It has been reported that this is an issue in corporate environments. Some employers are concerned that Millennials have too many great expectations from the workplace and desire to completely shape their jobs to fit their lives rather than adapt their lives to the workplace.

I KNOW this shape to fit me thinking doesn't work in a marriage and though this generation may want to "do it right the first time," they will find that it takes hard work and self sacrifice to make a true marriage that's lasting and THAT doesn't come with a "me first" attitude.

But this entitlement generation has now found itself with a mentality that is best expressed in a nursery song that says...

No one looks the way I do.
I have noticed that it's true.
No one walks the way I walk.
No one talks the way I talk.
No one plays the way I play.
No one says the things I say.
I am special.
I am me..

Today many parents and psychologists wonder if songs like that were not big mistakes.

In the 1970s and 80s world of child rearing, the catchword was "self-esteem." A group called the Aspen Education Group which is recognized nationwide as a leading provider of education programs for struggling or underachieving young people, said this..."Unconditional love and being valued "just because you're you!" was the prevailing philosophy. In practice, it involved constantly praising children, not criticizing them under any circumstances, emphasizing feelings, and not recognizing one child's achievements as superior to an other's. At the end of a season, every player "won" a trophy. Instead of just one "student of the month," schools named dozens. Teachers inflated grades from kindergarten through college: "C" became the new "F." No one ever had to repeat a grade because staying behind caused poor self-esteem."

This gave rise to an "I deserve the very best" mentality whether the thing deserved was an education, allowance, car, computer, PlayStation or just gifts at Christmas in general. So a "me" generation developed with a mentality that thinks "I want it now because I deserve it as much as anyone" to every ones' seeming surprise. Duh!!!
Some of what is said above is, I believe, a legitimate thought process but it is based on something far different than a "Just because I'm me." mentality.

In fact, I believe as a Christian I AM to view myself as something special. But "Why" is the real question to be answered and is in scripture. The reason we will find there will produce people with a mindset that is 180 degrees from the "Me" generation. We'll look at this next time.

Paul B.

14 comments:

Bob Cleveland said...

Paul,

I never struggled with that sort of deception .. thinking I was entitled to anything. For one thing, I had a lousy self-image (fat boy complex).

But more importantly was my Dad's quotation:

"The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

Oh great .. just what my ego needs .. the security word is "subme".

Anonymous said...

I find a bit of irony in this generation being called the Entitlement Generation, seeing as how the social contract regarding education, retirement, healthcare, and many other things has largely eroded. The average amount of debt required to complete a higher education for the EG would have been unheard of for the Baby Boomers. Social Security in a best case scenario will pay 73 percent of the promised benefits by the generations retirement age. Health care costs have risen astronomically in a market in which finding a lasting career is worse then any time since the Great Depression, and even the jobs available do not provide health care on an ever increasing basis. The reality for the EG is that they are guaranteed far less, if anything at all that many of the things Baby Boomers took for granted.
As for the " I deserve the very best" attitude, we would be remiss in not mentioning that the EG is the most heavily marketed generation this world has ever seen. With the lack of exploitable labor, this type of debt driven consumer mentality is essential to maintaining the American economy.
The parents of the Baby Boomers had a large sense of a social imperative brought on by the Great Depression and WW2, therefor individualism was kept in a healthy check. What social imperative was imparted by the Baby Boomers to the EG?
Grade inflation is pure and simple a result of lack of funding and resources for the public education system.
Ill agree then we can find a lot more of "me" in this generation, but i think we greatly differ on the causes.

Aussie John said...

Paul,

You have written a page full (I can't write "you have spoken a mouth full").

I do agree with you, 100%! I have seen a marked development in the "me" attitude over the last twenty years or so.

In dealing with Baby Boomers in the church situation, in this country, I believe much of their attitude has come from their parents who were quite deprived during, and immediately after, the second world war, who were determined their children were going to have things better than they. This thinking extended into the area of discipline, which became very lax, as well as ethics and morality.

This began a cycle, which is coming back to bite us, very severely.

Chris Ryan said...

Paul,

Perhaps I have just hung around with too many of the wrong peers, but I hear this perception a great deal but experience it far less often.

To the contrary, I think my generation is quite willing to engage in philanthropic activities and to work hard towards achieving grades and personal goals.

Now, I'll admit that we often want our parents lifestyles without the years it took to achieve those lifestyles responsibly. We amass irresponsible amounts of debts and seem obsessed with attaining more stuff (when, really, I think we are just trying to achieve nothing more nor less than what we were accustomed to while living at home). But I don't know that this stems from any sense of "entitlement." It stems from socialization towards certain norms. It is not that the world owes us everything, but that we must have all of it to really be a part of the world.

To be sure, a great deal of my generation's "self-esteem" comes from how we are perceived by peers. We are far more dyadic in our understandings of the world than we are individualistic (Though "being yourself," i.e. being an individual, is still in vogue it is often tempered by understanding "oneself" in relation to the peer-groups to which one belongs. You are who you hang with, so figure out which group's manners, ways of dress, and lifestyle choices you are comfortable with and then join up). To an extent, I think this tempers any real senses of personal entitlement - though we may often believe our groups are entitled to certain rights or privileges that society at large does not believe we have rights to, or at least not yet. But it is not that we expect the work place to conform to us, it is that we expect the work place to be a place where employees are treated as people and not resources (a view which requires more of the workplace than before). It is not that we expect our marriages to be perfect if we wait longer, but that we have more to offer one another in terms of resources and maturity by delaying.

So, yes, the old social norms are being set aside but I think for very different reasons than you suggest.


P.S. As to grade inflation, as the child of an educator (and as one who has numerous educators on both sides of the family), I can vouch that it is not just because teachers don't want kids to feel bad about themselves. Teachers often receive pressure from administration to give good grades because then the quality of education is perceived as being higher meaning more funding. Also, teachers who fail students have to deal with parents (who DO believe that their child is entitled to an "A") and administration rarely backs the teachers in such situations. When parents threaten lawsuits the teachers are forced to back down. Or, for a third reason, with govt initiatives like "No Child Left Behind," teachers are actually pressured by both govt and administration to pass children along to the next grade regardless of the student's aptitude. The child then becomes the problem for the next teacher who now has to sacrifice personal time to catch the student up (which also requires parental help - which is often non-existent) or pass the student along again. Every teacher knows students who need to be sent back to the grade before, but woe to the teacher who actually says something: both the govt and the administration want to keep that child moving forward and a mere teacher doesn't have the resources to oppose both (especially since most principals have the power to override the grades a teacher enters!) - especially when they already have to use their own money to buy chalk for the chalk boards and paper for printers.

Paul Burleson said...

Bob,

I'm with your comment on this one. Family of origin problems didn't help.


Anon,

Thanks for coming by. I'd be interested in what you think the causes were.


Aussie J,

In some parts of our culture the bite is deep!! [How about education?]


Chris,

I have no doubt that your peers are different to a great extent than those of many young people i meet across the country. That's a good thing I would think.

Thoughtful comment indeed. Your perspective is a good one to get.

I'm not one who bemoans the loss of the good old days. I don't think things like no civil rights, abuse of every kind hidden because of shame, bad marriages hidden because of fear of divorce, gender wage differences BECAUSE of gender and a host of other things make for a good generation no matter which one it is.

And..as I will show next time..I think to see yourself as something special is a good thing although the motive for that is extrememly important.

Finally, your P.S. here...
"P.S. As to grade inflation, as the child of an educator (and as one who has numerous educators on both sides of the family), I can vouch that it is not just because teachers don't want kids to feel bad about themselves. Teachers often receive pressure from administration to give good grades because then the quality of education is perceived as being higher meaning more funding. Also, teachers who fail students have to deal with parents (who DO believe that their child is entitled to an "A") and administration rarely backs the teachers in such situations."...is more true than many realize.

Keep your ideas coming. In fact I'd like to hear what you thing of any social imperative that might have been passed on to your generation that Anon..wondered about.

Deborah Felts said...

Hey check this out, Brother Paul. I think you'll like it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

Christiane said...

Paul, you wrote this:

"Teachers often receive pressure from administration to give good grades because then the quality of education is perceived as being higher meaning more funding. Also, teachers who fail students have to deal with parents (who DO believe that their child is entitled to an "A") and administration rarely backs the teachers in such situations."...is more true than many realize."

It IS true in many cases. Unless the administrator is a nun, in which case, nobody plays the system and nobody even tries to get away with anything.
Not the teachers, the parents, or the kids. Whoah !!!
I know this. I was trained by a teaching order: the Sisters of St. Lucy Filipini, out of Morristown NJ.

When I first came to work in the inner city public schools, I kept my standards, and oh my goodness, did I catch heck. But, in the end, when MY STUDENTS' improved and did better on their standardized tests, my principal thanked me.

I remember having a father say to me, 'thank you', 'cause I was the first teacher who ever bothered to make sure his son learned his times tables. (imagine that)

I think that kids today WANT to be challenged, but in a way that is also supported in the 'right' ways: they need a whole lot more time-on-task, and review than is allowed in some of the school schedules, that is for sure.
No easy answers, I'm afraid.
The nuns made sure I learned that well.

Chris Ryan said...

Paul,

Mr. or Mrs. Anon is definitely correct that the social contracts assumed by previous generations of Americans are going to ring hollow for us. At best we can expect pennies to the dollar of what we put into social security. Now, how many of us realize that may be an entirely different matter.

As to the social imperatives, i.e. directing one's efforts towards a greater social good, that supposedly characterized a previous generation but that is not so characteristic of my own, I think that Anon equivocates a bit and therefore doesn't leave room for how my generation DOES understand our social imperative. He or she notes that the Greatest Generation (Brockaw's words, not Anon's) had their social imperative honed through WWII and the Great Depression. Then he expects us to have one handed to us by our parents. While I agree that good parents teach their children social responsibility, it is unfair to expect us to have developed the same sensibilities sitting on our mother's laps as those who suffered through those previously mentioned events. So perhaps our social imperative is not as strong as before. But I actually think that something different is happening than that. If you will notice, the events that shaped the Greatest Generation were WWII (from which the US emerged as a superpower) and the Great Depression (another US problem, though it certainly had world-wide effect). The Greatest Generation's imperative was shaped towards the social unit of America. And so American self-interest prospered while these folks created policy. However, my generation is growing up in a much more global society, and I believe we understand our social responsibilities to be much more global. We tend to be less concerned with the prospering of America than we are with the prospering of humanity as a whole (and we no longer believe that "As goes America so goes the world."). I believe that lack of interest in American self-interest is often understood by previous generations as a lack of social imperative. But really, it is an expanded one. With that expansion comes it's own set of problems - for instance, the problems are much harder to solve and so our social projects appear to make little to no short-term progress - but that is not to be understood as our generation having no understanding of a world outside ourselves.

That is the best I can come up with while on vicoden. Hope it is somewhat useful.

Paul Burleson said...

Chris,

Really interesting.

I understand where you're coming from and, speaking as an American citizen and aware of my generation's struggles, I probably tend to drift more toward the nationalistic view rather than the global view.

I would certainly be rejecting of any militant or xenophobic/anti-immigrant view that sometimes gets refered to as Nationalism. [Which is nothing more than racism or neo-Nazis-white supremacists.]

That said, I do hold to views that are generally associated with Nationalism.

Your generation IS more "global" than any in history because of communication. I'm saying this knowing the difference between "globalism" and "globalization."

I also believe you would struggle with some extremes in "Globalism" as I do the extremes of "Nationalism."

This is one interesting dialogue with you and ALL the above contributors. Different than my ordinary direction on this blog but REALLY interesting. I know just enough about this topic to be dangerously stupid on issues like these.

Cammie Novara said...

"They are the children of the "Baby Boomers" which were the post World War Two babies." I completely agree with that. There's a really interesting debate that I thought would be of interest on evolution vs. intelligent design going on at http://www.intelligentdesignfacts.com

Rodney Sprayberry said...

I remember sitting in a seminary class on poverty and wealth in the mid 1990’s. Most of the students were in their late 20’s and early 30’s. (this would make us Baby Busters) The professor decided to have a roundtable discussion on economic/social equality. He asked a question that we were all instructed to write down our answers to. What do all people have a right to? The most common answers were “food, water, clothes, shelter, access to healthcare, and a means to provide for self/family.” I was shocked and a little embarrassed (because I had not written down any of those things). Next to me was a young woman who had been a missionary in Africa. She looked she had “that deer in the headlights look” as well.

When it came my time to share I told them I had written down “nothing”. Before I could explain myself, the whole class started peppering me with comments and questions. “How could I say/think such a thing?” “We were not talking about spiritual issues but physical needs!” On individual made this caustic comment “I do not know what God you are following but that is not the God I want to know!”

Then, that young lady spoke up, and very quietly said, “I wrote the same thing.” For some reason, that calmed the class down enough for us to share our thoughts.

In general, our train of thought went like this:

No one is guaranteed anything “tangible” in this life. (Even the Constitution speaks only of “life, freedom, and the “pursuit” of happiness” as inalienable rights)

We know spiritually we do not deserve anything and cannot demand anything (though we are given a great deal).


If I believe I have a right to have things as basic a food and water and I have both of them and you do not, I am less likely share with you. If I believe I have a right to have those things and you have them but I do not, You are less likely to share with me so I will haggle, demand, fight, steal from you to get them.

However, if I know I do not deserve (or have a right to) food and water and I know I have been graciously given them by God, my right are replaced gratitude and responsibility (respond-ability) concerning the needs of others. “To whom much have been GIVEN…much is required.”

The class ended. We all headed to other classes. The young missionary and I talked on the way out the door, and we both concurred, it really is about grace.


Over the past 6 years or so I have had the privilege of spending time with quite few young adults (20s-30s). The ones I know, fully expect to have less than their parents did (they are ok with that). They expect things like social security to not be around (they are distrustful of government/ and big corporation’s promises to do right by people.) They go from job to job not because they are afraid or unwilling to work, they just want to do something that matters (or excites them) not just pay bills. They value experience over propositional truth and relationships over anything else.

At times they come across as self-centered but in reality many are generous to a fault. They do not embrace societal norms (parental value systems, Christian morality, the American Dream) without questioning everything. Then they customize a personal value system. They abhor being “characterized (as I am doing to them now). For each of them, learning is a process and dialogue/experience are the keys to that process.

Therefore they are more open to discussing spiritual matters than any group I know. Yes, they value individualism but tether that to global connectivity which is revealed in many of them through more “perceived” socially responsible attitudes and behaviors as well as their technological savvy!

I have found those who are believers are more willing to risk, more willing to travel, more willing to give up stuff, more willing to go to difficult and dangerous places/situations than previous generations. It drives their parents crazy!

I have often wondered what that ethics class would have been like with the young adults of today.

Rodney Sprayberry said...

I remember sitting in a seminary class on poverty and wealth in the mid 1990’s. Most of the students were in their late 20’s and early 30’s. (this would make us Baby Busters) The professor decided to have a roundtable discussion on economic/social equality. He asked a question that we were all instructed to write down our answers to. What do all people have a right to? The most common answers were “food, water, clothes, shelter, access to healthcare, and a means to provide for self/family.” I was shocked and a little embarrassed (because I had not written down any of those things). Next to me was a young woman who had been a missionary in Africa. She looked she had “that deer in the headlights look” as well.

When it came my time to share I told them I had written down “nothing”. Before I could explain myself, the whole class started peppering me with comments and questions. “How could I say/think such a thing?” “We were not talking about spiritual issues but physical needs!” On individual made this caustic comment “I do not know what God you are following but that is not the God I want to know!”

Then, that young lady spoke up, and very quietly said, “I wrote the same thing.” For some reason, that calmed the class down enough for us to share our thoughts.

In general, our train of thought went like this:

No one is guaranteed anything “tangible” in this life. (Even the Constitution speaks only of “life, freedom, and the “pursuit” of happiness” as inalienable rights)

We know spiritually we do not deserve anything and cannot demand anything (though we are given a great deal).


If I believe I have a right to have things as basic a food and water and I have both of them and you do not, I am less likely share with you. If I believe I have a right to have those things and you have them but I do not, You are less likely to share with me so I will haggle, demand, fight, steal from you to get them.

However, if I know I do not deserve (or have a right to) food and water and I know I have been graciously given them by God, my right are replaced gratitude and responsibility (respond-ability) concerning the needs of others. “To whom much have been GIVEN…much is required.”

The class ended. We all headed to other classes. The young missionary and I talked on the way out the door, and we both concurred, it really is about grace.


Over the past 6 years or so I have had the privilege of spending time with quite few young adults (20s-30s). The ones I know, fully expect to have less than their parents did (they are ok with that). They expect things like social security to not be around (they are distrustful of government/ and big corporation’s promises to do right by people.) They go from job to job not because they are afraid or unwilling to work, they just want to do something that matters (or excites them) not just pay bills. They value experience over propositional truth and relationships over anything else. At times they come across as self-centered but in reality many are generous to a fault. They do not embrace societal norms (parental value systems, Christian morality, the American Dream) without questioning everything. Then they customize a personal value system. They abhor being “characterized (as I am doing to them now). For each of them, learning is a process and dialogue/experience are the keys to that process. Therefore they are more open to discussing spiritual matters than any group I know. Yes, they value individualism but tether that to global connectivity which is revealed in many of them through more “perceived” socially responsible attitudes and behaviors as well as their technological savvy!

I have found those who are believers are more willing to risk, more willing to travel, more willing to give up stuff, more willing to go to difficult and dangerous places/situations than previous generations. It drives their parents crazy!


I have often wondered what that ethics class would have been like with the young adults of today.

Paul Burleson said...

All,

I've just gotten a comment from Rodney Sprayberry that wouldn't go through the blog comment for some reason. I've just picked up my computer having had several viruses removed. I hope no one else has had trouble. If you have, please let me know. Here is Rodney's comment in full.

Rodney Sprayberry said..."I have tried to comment on your blog several times today and for some reason it tells me that it is unable to complete my request to post a response.

If you deem it of interest and a contribution to the dialogue you can post it for me. If not, it may be of personal interest to your thinking on this matter.

I remember sitting in a seminary class on poverty and wealth in the mid 1990’s. Most of the students were in their late 20’s and early 30’s. (This would make us Baby Busters) The professor decided to have a roundtable discussion on economic/social equality. He asked a question that we were all instructed to write down our answers to. What do all people have a right to? The most common answers were “food, water, clothes, shelter, and access to healthcare, an education, and a means to provide for self/family.”

Paul Burleson said...

Last comment continued....." I was shocked and a little embarrassed (because I had not written down any of those things). Next to me was a young woman who had been a missionary in Africa. She looked she had “that deer in the headlights look” as well.

When it came my time to share I told them I had written down “nothing”. Before I could explain myself, the whole class started peppering me with comments and questions. “How could I say/think such a thing?” “We were not talking about spiritual issues but physical needs!” On individual made this caustic comment “I do not know what God you are following but that is not the God I want to know!”

Then, that young lady spoke up, and very quietly said, “I wrote the same thing.” For some reason, that calmed the class down enough for us to share our thoughts.

In general, our train of thought went like this:

No one is guaranteed anything “tangible” in this life. (Even the Constitution speaks ONLY of “life, freedom, and the “pursuit” of happiness” as inalienable rights)

We know spiritually we do not deserve anything and cannot demand anything (though we are given a great deal).

If I believe I have a right to a “certain standard” of living (i.e. food, clothing, shelter, healthcare, education, and job) and I have it and you do not, I am less likely share with you. (I have nothing extra so I will not help you out) If I believe I have a right to have those things and you have them but I do not, you are less likely to share with me. So, I covet, haggle, demand, work, fight, or steal to obtain them.

However, if I know I do not deserve (or have a right to) those things and I know I have been graciously provided them by God and I know you have a need... “My rights attitude” is replaced with gratitude and responsibility (respond-ability) concerning your need. “To whom much have been GIVEN…much is required.”

The class ended. We all headed to other classes. Few classmates spoke to us. However, this young missionary and I talked on the way out the door, and we both concurred, it really is about grace.

Over the past 6 years or so I have had the privilege of spending time with quite few young adults (20s-30s). The ones I know, fully expect to have less than their parents did (they are ok with that). They expect things like social security to not be around (they are distrustful of government/ and big corporation’s promises to do right by people.) They go from job to job not because they are afraid or unwilling to work, they just want to do something that matters (or excites them) not just pay bills. They value experience over propositional truth and relationships over anything else. At times they come across as self-centered but in reality many are generous to a fault. They do not embrace societal norms (parental value systems, Christian morality, the American Dream) without questioning everything. Then they customize a personal value system. They abhor being “characterized (as I am doing to them now). For each of them, learning is a process and dialogue/experience are the keys to that process. Therefore they are more open to discussing spiritual matters than any group I know. Yes, they value individualism but tether that to global connectivity which is revealed in many of them through more “perceived” socially responsible attitudes and behaviors as well as their technological savvy!

I have found those who are believers are more willing to risk, more willing to travel, more willing to give up stuff, more willing to go to difficult and dangerous places/situations than previous generations. It drives their parents crazy!

I have often wondered what that ethics class would have been like with the young adults of today."