USING PARAPROSDOKIAN LANGUAGE

PARAPROSDOKIAN [ PARA-PROS-DO-KIAN]

Paraprosdokian` is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener
to reframe the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic
effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely
popular among comedians and satirists.

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My good friend Tom Webb sent a fun e-mail today. He's quite a poet and something of a comedian too. He introduced me to the word
"prosdokian". What follows is his e-mail slightly adapted for my blog. Enjoy.

TOM WEBB said...."Were you aware that today is National Paraprosdokian
Day. Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to
reframe or reinterpret the first part. Check out the following for
examples"

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way
so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot because he will drag
you down to his level and beat you with experience

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather
and not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you,
but that is on the list.

Light travels faster than sound and that's why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right just who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit but
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the
second mouse always gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

A bus station is where a bus stops and a train station
is where a train stops so my desk is a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a
forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.

A bank is a place that will lend you
money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with
"Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but always check when you say the paint is
wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for
president and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman and behind the fall
of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive but you definitely
need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but
they have some darned good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist because he
won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to
go to hell in such a way that you will
look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like
they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure
makes misery easier to live with.

I've discovered I scream the same way whether
I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark
or if a piece of seaweed touches
my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go but others whenever they go.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure anymore.

I always take life with a grain of salt,
plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember
that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and
call whatever you hit the target.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people
but others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast
when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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TOM WEBB said...."By the way, I was just kidding about it
being National Paraprosdokian Day.
In any case, have a great day and love to all"

　
Paul B..