The quote below about soul mates is not mine, with the exception of a very minor adaptation near the end, but that said, I do believe the speaker nailed what Mary and I have experienced together in a marriage of fifty-five years, becoming true soul mates.
"People tend to think of a soul mate as being your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a soul mate is more a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention truthfully, so your life can be changed. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever know because they help tear down your walls and bring you awake to yourself. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, maybe even tear apart your ego a little bit, to help you see your obstacles and addictions [even to self], to break your heart open so new light can get in, to help you become so willing to give up control that God will be able to transform your life so you can share the results together."
I will only add this to the quote. I’ve come to believe that soul mates…(a) don’t magically exist, so… (b) you don’t have to be sure to find the right person somewhere, because…(c) they are really created and shaped while on a relational journey, particularly the marriage journey.
As we celebrate fifty-five years of marriage today, being realists, we are both able to see the good, the bad, and the ugly, with the good far out-weighing the bad or the ugly. In fact, I would go so far as to say that we’ve been able to find a very real measure of genuine love, true happiness and our marriage has been a good resource for that love and happiness.
But like everything else in our lives, I think it came about in a different manner than we expected. The quote says it well.
I would describe our relational journey [Mary will have to give her description as I don’t speak for her] as two kids starting out in ignorance and inexperience, at seventeen and eighteen respectively, with no clue as to what went into the making of a real marriage.
But fifty-five years later ours has become, thankfully, by a personal desire and choice on both our parts, a relationship where neither of us has to lay aside our own unique gifts, stifle our own unique voice, or fail in our own unique calling from God to live life to it’s fullest, in order to make the other happy.
Our happiness together has been the result of being free to be who we are in Christ, along side each other, on an equal footing, being there for each other, which we’ve come to see God intends for a marriage.
It was said of Jesus in Luke 2:52, “Jesus matured, growing up in both body and spirit, blessed by both God and people.” [The Message]
I believe that may be what true soul mates do___ together.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Mary! I love you, my beautiful, capable, one of a kind, soul mate.
I thought I'd share yesterday's Face Book entry with my blog reader. The anniversary was yesterday, but the response to this thing about Soul Mates was so large I thought blog readers might enjoy it as well.