Thursday, May 08, 2014


I have a confession to make. 

I don't like mean-spirited religious fanatics of any brand, who are really, I believe, self-deceived people and do great harm in this world. You can spot these types of people because of their emphasis on how much God hates something or someone. I'll give two examples.

God hates the infidels. This group then declares that everyone and anyone who isn't of this religion or a citizen of a nation that embraces this religion, is an infidel and this group then assumes the right to attempt to destroy infidels like this with actions. 

God hates homosexuals. The Phelps family has made this group famous, but this group is larger than just the Phelps brand and has thrived through the years messaging how God hates something or someone from their particular list of sins or sinners and this group then assumes the right to attempt to destroy sinners like this with words, if not actions. 

Kingdom kids are of a different breed entirely. While knowing the destructive nature of sin and at the same time the nature of the holiness of God which declares the necessity and right of having to deal with sin eventually, we have a message of how much God's love has been demonstrated in His plan and purpose in the Person and the Work of Christ and His Cross, which He then fully accepted for our justification. [Making us just as if we'd never sinned in His eyes.]

So Kingdom kids take seriously His orders for the Kingdom family to owe no man anything except to love them enough, this even includes our enemies, to show grace and mercy to the worst offender and be diligent about sharing that message of His redemptive work accomplished on that Cross on their behalf.

All this is premised on the fact that, since it was the goodness of God that works or brings about a change of mind [repentance] in people, it will only be that same kind of goodness in Kingdom kids, shown to even our enemies, that is our only hope of seeing anyone's mind changed [repentance] about their need of Christ.

Like I said, I have a confession to make. 

I don't like mean-spirited religious fanatics of any brand, who are really, I believe, self-deceived people and do great harm in this world.

Paul B.


Aussie John said...


You really do express my own heartfelt thoughts better than I can.

A couple of hours ago, before arising from a great sleep, I was enjoying horizontal time, pondering an advertised program on our national TV. It was to be personal accounts of why people have left their belief in God.

The thought kept running through my mind, "Why would any one want to know God when they know,and hear,myself,and anyone else claiming to belong to God,in daily life?"

Victorious said...

Hi Paul, your description of Kingdom Kids brought something to mind which has confused me for a very long time.

When I have shown grace, mercy, love, and acceptance to a sinner, my son has implied that I am an enabler. As he has participated in a number of counseling sessions for marital problems, his use of this term seems to have a negative connotation.

My question is, how are the attitudes of Kingdom Kids towards sinners different from being an "enabler?" Do you know?

Can one show unconditional love and acceptance without being labeled negatively as an enabler?

Mary Ann aka confused

Paul Burleson said...


Great question. I don't know that I have a simple answer and I'm sure you're not looking for one. but I'll give it a try.

By the way, I've been a part of recovery groups in the past as my dad and mom battled through addictions. My dad was addicted to alcohol and my mom was addicted to him. [Which is what an enabler is by the way.] Both had to get free from their addictions.

AA was the one my dad went through it all and Al-Anon was the group for mom to get her to understand how to live with an alcoholic without being an enabler.

The simple way to put it it I guess is that an enabler is one who does what the other person is suppose to do for themselves. This makes it easy for the other person to escape responsibility.

It often takes the form of lying for or fixing or cleaning up the mess made by the other person rather than letting them experience the consequences of their choices.

When I was a kid I'd hear my mother lie to people on the phone to cover the fact my dad was drunk. She'd say he was sick for example.

Or we would all be told by her to tip-toe around my dad who was asleep [a lie since he was really in a drunken stuper] and we must not awaken him.

She had to learn and tell him she would no longer lie to ANYONE about him so if he wanted to save his reputation he's have to act differently.

We all had to learn that we wouldn't give my dad money, call and tell people he was unavailable [too drunk] for the appointments he had, clean up the car if he messed it up, and it even took separating from him and refusing him the privilege of being able to live in the house [legal separation] so he would not be the focus of attention and the one sucking all the emotional energy out of the relationships the other five people of the family had together.

My dad did get dry and was actually converted, in that order for him, and died forty years ago, a believer who still struggled with temptation up to his death, but had to face it when he did without any one covering for him. [No enablers were around for him eventually, but he understood by that time.]

I grew to love him and can honestly say I learned a great deal from him although it was from the negative primarily. But that's OK.

So, to end this all too lengthy comment, I would say to be Christian is to love, accept, forgive and do all that WITHOUT ever doing for the other person what they are responsible for doing or keeping secrets about them so they can salvage a reputation. [Honestly, it was as much my mother's desire to salvage our reputation she finally realized and gave that up as well.

To me now, my Christian faith looks NOTHING LIKE enabling at all. I WON'T do what is another's responsibility. Boundaries are set in relationships that won't permit that at all.

Mary and I have learned this in our marriage as well, and it was hard but necessary. What a wonderful experience that has become for us.

As I said, far too simply stated, but maybe it will help.

Paul Burleson said...

Aussie J,

Sorry it took so long for me to respond to your ever astute comment. I THOUGHT I had, but found that I evidently forgot to push the post button on it. I saw this as I read the comment put up by Victorious.

Again, sorry.

Aussie John said...


Of course, I like to see what I can learn from your responses to my comments, but I keep checking the comments to see what others are saying.

I know I can learn from your responses and that of others, who are, sadly too few, as on my own feeble attempts at blogging.

I'm sure you, like myself, are not looking for back-patting, but genuine comments pro, or, con!

Victorious said...

Wow, Paul! I wish I had asked you that question long ago. It would have saved me much confusion and misunderstanding about enabling as opposed to Christian love and acceptance. Your personal example of your mom and dad helped greatly in my understanding.

You said: To me now, my Christian faith looks NOTHING LIKE enabling at all. I WON'T do what is another's responsibility. Boundaries are set in relationships that won't permit that at all

Funny you should mention boundaries as my son recently gave me a book entitled "Boundaries: When to Say Yes; When to Say No to Take Control of Your Life." I've just started to read it and so far have found it very helpful in recognizing what my own responsibilities are and what they are not.

I can't end this comment without mentioning that (I'm sure you know and will agree) that many women are specifically erroneously being taught to be enablers in their marriages. Undoing that can be a long, tedious, and painful process often with sad consequences.

Thank you so much for clarifying in your posts so many areas where I couldn't, for whatever the reason, grasp the meaning.

Victorious said...

who are, sadly too few...

Aussie John, I think I found Paul's blog about a year ago while doing a search on sarcasm. I'm an administrator on a prophecy discussion board and I found Paul's post about sarcasm excellent so I posted it on our discussion board. A number of people have said how great it was and how it helped them to understand sarcasm better and they agreed with Paul's perspective.

That was April 2013 and I did post a link to it at the time I hope that was alright. At any rate, sometimes you don't know how many are benefitting from a particular ministry. Having been an administrator since 2006, I may get one thank you a year if that. But I made up my mind years ago that it was a ministry to the Lord and if someone appreciated it that was fine; if not, that was fine as well.

And, I have learned from your comments as well, Aussie John!

Paul Burleson said...


You might find my post on boundaries found here... If for some reason the link doesn't work just go to my present post and type in "boundaries" in the little search place at the upper left of the blog.

Hop that helps.

Victorious said...

Thanks, Paul! Reading it now!