FIFTY-THREE YEARS AND COUNTING

MAY 28th 1959/MAY 28th 2012 

Some days you just don't forget. Fifty-three years ago today is one of those. It was hot, humid, and the air conditioning at the First Baptist Church in Edmond Oklahoma had gone out. On top of that, all ten siblings of the bride were in the wedding. I waited at the front so long I needed to shave again. I thought the event would never transpire.

After six hours of waiting, [ministerially speaking] she came in. One look and I knew she was worth the agony of de-wait. I can still see her start down the aisle. I had sung a very special song to her many times in the past. [This was when music WAS really music.] It was now happening.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPUmqC0PZ6w&feature=related

First a boy and a girl meet each other

Then they sit down to talk for awhile

In your heart you want her for a lover

While each step draws you closer to the aisle

You may start with a simple conversation

Like darling please put me on trial

Then you'll know in your heart she is just for you

While each step draws you closer to the aisle

Then you put a ring on her finger

And the tears start flowing about

In your heart you'll now she is just for you

While each step draws you closer to the aisle

The preacher did his part. [He was her dad] He asked "do you?" We both said "I do." He said "you are." And we were married at the ripe old age of 17 [her] and 18. [Me]. I kissed her and was perspiring so badly [the heat you know] I slid off her lips. Fifty-three years later___today-May 28th___I'm still kissing her but not sliding off as I once did. It's created a few problems across the years. Four children, thirteen grandchildren and three great-grand children to name a few. And, as the country song says "If I had it to do all over__I'd do it all over again." Those are the kind of problems you wouldn't miss for the world.

Now, you're probably wondering what could have possessed Mary to do it and to stay with me for so long. She wasn't too sure the night before the wedding. She got cold feet. She doubted slightly. I fixed that. I reminded her It was God's will. This was back in the days when I knew God's will for everyone if they would just listen to me. Some did some didn't. She did. I'm glad. I think she is too.

But to celebrate this day seriously, I do need to speak seriously for a moment. [Though Mary and I have learned to not take anything too seriously these days.] What does go into a marriage enabling it to last for fifty-three years?

Simple answer? Only the Grace of God and the reality of Christ as our life is the bottom-line, but to break it down into bite size portions I would say......

Acceptance___We're learning to accept each other where we are, as we are, with no demands for change made by the other without seeing that change has to happen both ways. [And it does need to happen.]

Respect___We're learning to appreciate each other as individuals NOT defined by the other. Funny how the Bible DOESN'T teach the "two shall become one." When someone says that to us, Mary always asks a wise question of them..."which one?" It does teach the "two shall become one flesh." But that's the kissing part. It kind of seals the union of the two completely. Now two different, whole, unique, individuals are in a life long covenant and seal it with....that kiss. [And a lot more if you get my drift.]

Commitment___We're learning to be genuinely committed to the life we have in Christ by the Grace of God and___ a willingness to change___ as we continue to grow in every way. [Mentioned above.] You do have the chance you know [if you stick around with each other long enough] to grow up, grow older, wiser, more gracious, more forgiving and all those other christian things that are really just His Life being experienced.

In fact, the key, if there is really just one, may be in the second and third words in each of the preceding paragraphs___"We're learning." If that ever stops you're dead in the water and the marriage will start leaking and probably sink. We've had some leaks,  we've had to fix them, and then we found some more. But the Grace of God is a gorilla of a glue.

That's the only way Mary's done it. Me? I've been perfect for the past thirty or forty years or so. :)

The truth really is Mary is that gorilla glue [Grace] embodied in a woman. Were that not a fact, fifty-three years would have never happened. My true thoughts of her are still those thoughts I had when I saw her start down that aisle a long time ago. The line of another song says what those thoughts were and still are today..."She's close enough to perfect for me."

Happy anniversary Mary. Thank you for the best years of my life.

Mister