A TALE OF FORTY EIGHT YEARS

May 28th 1959. Some days you just don't forget. It was hot, humid, and the air conditioning at the First Baptist Church in Edmond Oklahoma had gone out. On top of that, all ten siblings of the bride were in the wedding. I waited at the front so long I needed to shave again. I thought the event would never transpire.

After six hours [ministerially speaking] she came in. One look and I knew she was worth the agony of the wait. I can still see her start down the aisle. I had sung a very special song to her many times. [This was when music WAS really music.]

First a boy and a girl meet each other
Then they sit down to talk for awhile
In your heart you want her for a lover
While each step draws you closer to the aisle

You may start with a simple conversation
Like darling please put me on trial
Then you'll know in your heart she is just for you
While each step draws you closer to the aisle

Then you put a ring on her finger
And the tears start flowing about
In your heart you'll now she is just for you
While each step draws you closer to the aisle

The preacher did his part. [He was her dad] He asked "do you?" We both said "I do." He said "you are." And we were married at the ripe old age of 17 [her] and 18. [Me]. I kissed her and was perspiring so badly [the heat you know] I slid off her lips. Forty-eight years later...today-May 28th...I'm still kissing her but not sliding off as I once did. It's created a few problems across the years. Four children, thirteen grandchildren and one great-grand child. But as the country song says "If I had it to do all over...I'd do it all over again."

Now, you're probably wondering what could have possessed Mary to do it and to stay with me so long. She wasn't too sure the night before the wedding. She got cold feet. She doubted slightly. I fixed that. I reminded her It was God's will. This was back in the days when I knew God's will for everyone if they would just listen to me. Some did some didn't. She did. I'm glad. I think she is too.

But to break a blog fast to celebrate this day I do need to speak seriously for a moment. [Though Mary and I have learned to not take much too seriously.] What does go into a marriage enabling it to last for forty-eight years?

Only the Grace of God and the reality of Christ as our life is the real answer. But to break it down into bite size portions I would say......


Acceptance....We're learning to accept each other where we are, as we are, with no demands for change made by the other.

Respect....We're learning to appreciate each other as individuals NOT defined by the other. Funny how the Bible DOESN'T teach the "two shall become one." When someone says that to you a wise question to ask them would be..."which one?" It does teach the "two shall become one flesh." But that's the kissing part. It kind of seals the union of two complete, whole, unique individuals in a life long covenant sealing it with....that kiss. [And a lot more if you get my drift.]

Commitment....We're learning to be genuinely committed to the life we have in Christ by the Grace of God and a willingness to change as we continue to grow in every way. You do have the chance you know [if you stick around with each other long enough] to grow up, older, wiser, more gracious, more forgiving and, you know, all those christian things that are really just His life experienced.

In fact, the key, if there is one, may be in those first two words in each of the preceding paragraphs..."We're learning." If that ever stops you're dead in the water and the marriage will start leaking and probably sink. We've had some leaks, fixed them, and then we find some more. But the Grace of God is a gorilla of a glue.

That's the only way Mary's done it. Me? I've been perfect for the past thirty or forty years. :)

The truth really is Mary is that gorilla glue [Grace] embodied in a woman. Were that not a fact forty-eight would have never happened. My true thoughts of her are still those thoughts I had when I saw her start down that aisle a long time ago. The line of another song says what those thoughts were and are..."She's close enough to perfect for me."

Happy anniversary Mary. Thank you for the best years of my life.


Paul