SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT

The Entitlement Generation, which also includes the generation Y or the Millennial generation of 1985 to 2000, is that group of people born between 1970 and 2000. Those words will be used inter-changeably throughout this post. Though there are a few technical differences between Generation Y and Millennial, they all make up the entitlement generation.. They are the children of the "Baby Boomers" which were the post World War Two babies.

It has been said of the baby boomers...[1945 to 1965 which I missed by five years]..." As a group, the baby boomers were the healthiest, and wealthiest generation to that time, and amongst the first to grow up genuinely expecting the world to improve with time." The CHILDREN of the baby boomers have grown up with a far different mentality.

It is said that that they have questions regarding a clear definition of what it means to be an adult. In one study professors at Brigham Young University found that college students are more likely today to define "adult" based on certain personal abilities and characteristics rather than more traditional "rite of passage" events such as getting married, getting a job and supporting ones' self.

Dr. Larry Nelson, one of the three Marriage, Family, and Human Development professors to perform the study, noted that some Millennials are delaying the transition from childhood to adulthood as a response to mistakes made by their parents. "In prior generations, you get married and you start a career and you do that immediately.

What young people today say is that all that did was lead to divorces and to people being unhappy with their careers. The majority of the entitlement generation want to get married--they just want to do it right the first time, the same thing with their careers."

This is a noble desire and I wish them well. But there is a problem. There is a reason the Entitlement Generation is sometimes called the "Trophy Generation", or "Trophy Kids." That is a term that reflects the trend in competitive sports, as well as many other aspects of life, where "no one loses" and everyone gets a "Thanks for Participating" trophy and symbolizing a perceived sense of entitlement by every single person.

It has been reported that this is an issue in corporate environments. Some employers are concerned that Millennials have too many great expectations from the workplace and desire to completely shape their jobs to fit their lives rather than adapt their lives to the workplace.

I KNOW this shape to fit me thinking doesn't work in a marriage and though this generation may want to "do it right the first time," they will find that it takes hard work and self sacrifice to make a true marriage that's lasting and THAT doesn't come with a "me first" attitude.

But this entitlement generation has now found itself with a mentality that is best expressed in a nursery song that says...

No one looks the way I do.
I have noticed that it's true.
No one walks the way I walk.
No one talks the way I talk.
No one plays the way I play.
No one says the things I say.
I am special.
I am me..

Today many parents and psychologists wonder if songs like that were not big mistakes.

In the 1970s and 80s world of child rearing, the catchword was "self-esteem." A group called the Aspen Education Group which is recognized nationwide as a leading provider of education programs for struggling or underachieving young people, said this..."Unconditional love and being valued "just because you're you!" was the prevailing philosophy. In practice, it involved constantly praising children, not criticizing them under any circumstances, emphasizing feelings, and not recognizing one child's achievements as superior to an other's. At the end of a season, every player "won" a trophy. Instead of just one "student of the month," schools named dozens. Teachers inflated grades from kindergarten through college: "C" became the new "F." No one ever had to repeat a grade because staying behind caused poor self-esteem."

This gave rise to an "I deserve the very best" mentality whether the thing deserved was an education, allowance, car, computer, PlayStation or just gifts at Christmas in general. So a "me" generation developed with a mentality that thinks "I want it now because I deserve it as much as anyone" to every ones' seeming surprise. Duh!!!
Some of what is said above is, I believe, a legitimate thought process but it is based on something far different than a "Just because I'm me." mentality.

In fact, I believe as a Christian I AM to view myself as something special. But "Why" is the real question to be answered and is in scripture. The reason we will find there will produce people with a mindset that is 180 degrees from the "Me" generation. We'll look at this next time.

Paul B.

THE ART OF SKEPTICISM

My desire is to be a healthy skeptic. In fact, I believe God calls all of us to a healthy skepticism. Jesus said, "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits..." (Matthew 7:15-20) Especially when it comes to hearing someone say "God told me and He wants me to tell you." Being careful about accepting something as truth and NOT receiving it just because the name of God is invoked is very wise indeed.

All around us are voices that claim God told them something and they are to tell us of it's truth. People who are not healthily skeptical can wind up being told what to believe, what to do, how to vote, how to spend their money, how to raise their children and how their marriage relationship should be all because God told someone [they claim] the right way and they're passing it on to us.

I'm not talking about people who try to draw you away from scripture. Quite the opposite. I'm talking about people who are busy showing you from the bible why you should believe what God told them about a particular subject and how if you want to be biblical you need to accept what they are saying about it. After all.."God told them."

Some one I read said that, in his opinion, the bible is a dangerous book. Perhaps the most dangerous book in the world since Christians believe it to be the infallible, authoritative voice of God to men. What he's saying is quite correct from my perspective. This, because it is, in fact, His inspired word to us about His Son and I believe that message can radically change your life.

But that's the good danger. The other kind of danger is because throughout history people have twisted and perverted the meaning of the text of scripture to fit their agendas in order to, I suppose, get what they believe would be the authority of God behind their agendas. They wind up saying if you disagree with their words you are disagreeing with God Himself. So you can see I believe in the infallibility of the scriptures but not the infallibility of those who try to teach it's meaning. So a healthy skepticism would be in order I would think.

So how do you tell the difference between the true meaning of scripture and false teaching that can come from men about it?

One way is to compare their teaching to the rest of the Bible. Does it agree with the rest of the scriptures. No single verse is to be seen as truly standing alone but in the immediate context as to who is being addressed and why and the larger context of the whole of scripture. To miss this would be what is called "proof-texting" and with a single verse, unrelated to all others, ANY thing can be proven by scripture.

That’s a good test for what anyone says the bible is saying. Any book, any preacher, any idea, any philosophy, or any message supposedly from God should be challenged with this test. Apply it to me. Apply it to everyone you hear. That’s why it’s important to know what the Bible says and means and know how to study it and understand it under the leadership of the Holy Spirit in your own life. The idea of being "Berean Christians" is still a good one.

But there’s also something else you can use to evaluate a teaching. Jesus says we should evaluate what is being taught by what it produces in the life of the teacher. Luke 15:1–7.. "And the Pharisees and scribes complained, saying, “This Man receives sinners and eats with them.” It was obvious the Pharisees wouldn't and what they lived denied the truth of God. Jesus also chided the Pharisees for going out of their way to make a convert but refusing to love those in the way.

If a communicator's life is one of manipulation, judgmentalism, control, anger and negativism instead of respect, grace, and love of people, rest assured the teaching they do will produce the same in their life and in the life of those who follow them. That is an outcome you can be sure about. It's called reaping what is sown. What will happen in the lives of the people who follow this teacher, not just as an immediate outcome, but in the long-run, is a valid question to ask before you accept any word as if "God said it through them." God may not be in it at all. A healthy skepticism will discern which is true of the teacher.

While I'm in the neighborhood of this thought about a life of respect I might as well say it. It seems to me that ANY argument or debate in ANY area of life be it religious, political, sports or otherwise, that is carried on in a disrespectful, condemning, shaming, and sarcastic manner has lost the privilege of being heard. And in this era of communication that unfortunately characterizes much of what is being said in all areas of communication with others.

Being heard, however, is not a right. The right of free speech is a constitutional guarantee in this country it is true. But being given a hearing is a privilege, even a gift. When trampled on with disrespect from EITHER side of ANY argument or differing viewpoint about ANY issue, an audience can be lost. It will be if that audience has any real discernment at all.

So while the point of this post is that a healthy skepticism is needed toward those who would fraudulently say they are speaking for God, that same skepticism is well placed when it takes in anyone who shows disrespect toward others in their communication.

AFTER THOUGHT...

Maybe that's why I like blogs so much. Here at my house [blog] I can require that respect be shown or no comments be posted as I've indicated in the comment section. At someone else's house [blog] I can choose to visit or not and the presence/nonpresence of an atmosphere of respect will help me determine that visit or lack thereof. No demands on them to do differently than they're doing!! Just healthy skepticism on whether I'm to be in the audience or not. Which, by the way, won't matter to them I'm sure but it matters to me.

Paul B.

IDOLATRY

The word "idols" sounds archaic. We tend to think of statues or gargoyles or sacrifices that are more in keeping with a pagan culture than our modern times. But N.T. Wright, in his book SURPRISED BY HOPE [HarperOne 2008] does a more than adequate job of showing the modern relevance of that word. He shows that "idol worship" is as modern as microwaves and as dangerous as radiation poisoning. In fact, to relationships, it is MORE dangerous than the afore mentioned modern items. Idolatry, according to Wright, IS a heart problem but doesn't stay there. It worms it's way into our value system [with devaluation] and carries with it consequences that infect our walk with God, our families, neighborhoods and even congregations.

N.T. Wright says it this way..."

"One of the primary laws of human life is that you become like what you worship; what’s more, you reflect what you worship not only back to the object itself but also outward to the world around. Those who worship money increasingly define themselves in terms of it and increasingly treat other people as creditors, debtors, partners, or customers rather than as human beings. Those who worship sex define themselves in terms of it (their preferences, their practices, their past histories) and increasingly treat other people as actual or potential sexual objects. Those who worship power define themselves in terms of it and treat other people as either collaborators, competitors, or pawns. These and many other forms of idolatry combine in a thousand ways, all of them damaging to the image-bearing quality of the people concerned and of those whose lives they touch." (p. 182)


Mark Driscoll says much the same thing in different words in his latest book DOCTRINE. He says it this way...

"If we idolize our gender, we must demonize the other gender. If we idolize our nation, we must demonize other nations. If we idolize our political party, we must demonize other political parties. If we idolize our socioeconomic class, we must demonize other classes. If we idolize our family, we must demonize other families. If we idolize our theological system, we must demonize other theological systems. If we idolize our church, we must demonize other churches.

This explains the great polarities and acrimonies that plague every society. If something other than God’s loving grace is the source of our identity and value, we must invariably defend our idol by treating everyone and everything who may call our idol into question as an enemy to be demonized so that we can feel superior to other people and safe with our idol." (350-351)

I do not agree with either man in all points of theology. But on this point make it a threesome. And...if this assessment is true...our generation has become as "Idolatrous" as any I've ever studied biblically or historically.

Paul B.

UPDATE___Since I'm connecting you with people who write about Idolatry better than I do..you need to read what my blogosphere friend from "Down Under," Aussie John, said about it here..http://john-caesura.blogspot.com/. By the way..I've yet to find anything theological that I disagree with when Aussie j writes.

PLEASE LISTEN

Last night we [Mary and I] spoke at Emmanuel Baptist Enid after I had preached that morning. We spent about an hour sharing what we've learned after fifty-one years of marriage to each other. It was conversational, casual, comical in some ways, and absolutely a blast in every way. But it was the aftermath that captured my attention.

Mary and I both had several people stay around talking to us for nearly another hour but Mary particularly had some who were REALLY ministered to as she LISTENED. I know she spoke to some degree because she told me about it later. But her gift is listening well. It ministers and, in fact, it is healing. Her gift of listening is spoken about in a post I put up over four years ago which bears repeating today in a slightly adapted fashion. So I will do so. Enjoy.
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"Some one ask me recently what I thought had been the major factors in any growth I may have experienced over the past few years in my walk with the Lord. Whether there has been growth or not would be for others to say, especially my family, but if there has been, it would be in the thoughts in the post I'm printing today on listening.

I don't compartmentalize life, so any growth in marriage, raising kids, developing friends, or walking with the Lord is spiritual growth to me. While this may not be what the asker of the question on growth had in mind, I would say it has been profound in changing the direction of my life, marriage, family, and my ministry.

It is obvious to anyone who knows me well I'm one who has, in the past, constantly been giving advice, fixing people, correcting their feelings...well, you can see where growth was needed. My desire is that the journey I'm on in learning this will continue because the road is long. What follows helps that journey along.

PLEASE LISTEN

"When I ask you to listen to me - and you start giving me advice, - you've gone beyond what is requested. You are not listening.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you're trampling on my feelings and not listening.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed - strange as that may seem - AND you're not listening.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen.- Don't talk or do for me - just listen to me.

I can do for myself; I am not helpless. - Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. Besides it helps when you listen.

When you try to do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you are contributing to my fear and inadequacy. But worse, you're not listening.

When you receive as a simple fact that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling of mine.

And when that's clear, the answers often become obvious and I don't need advice. - Irrational feelings can make sense when I understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer is so effective, sometimes, for me, because God often becomes mute, and He doesn't give advice or try to fix things.

God many times just seems to listen and often lets me work it out for myself.

So please listen, and just hear me. - And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and I will listen to you. "


Good words that really do describe Mary's gift and I believe would be wise for any teacher/counselor to learn.



Paul B.